In my short life of 19 years, I've done many great and fun things. Hmm... if you consider getting drunk and stoned in high school with your friends, older brother and his friends, great and fun, then we're on the same page. But back to what I was going to say; In the midst of chugging Pabst Blue Ribbon and taking giant bong hits, I've never had one run in with the cops. Keep in mind that I did much of my "partying" in high school with older college people, so now I'm pretty much an empty shell of a man, but more on that later. It was wasn't until recently, maybe around late 2007, where I've had almost a constant run in with cops.
I think the first incident that sparked his terrible chain reaction was when I was pulled over for my tinted windows. That I can understand, it's illegal to have your front two windows tinted, but shit man, it's fucking hot in California. Whatever, luckily for that, my girl's sister's fiance is a cop and he wrote off the ticket, so my awesome little car got to keep it's shades.
The second run occurred shortly after the first incident, where my Pops had me go to Albertsons to pick up his medicine. I took the scenic route to the store, which actually means I made a right out of my neighborhood instead of a yielded left. So there I was, driving 25 MPH near my elementary school, when I came to a stop sign. I swear, I must be half retarded because as I approached the stop sign, I could CLEARLY see the cop camping out, waiting for assholes like me to roll it. Well, I did roll the stop with full knowledge of the cops presence, and the rest is history.
Three; my girlfriend and I were parked at the top of a hill which overlooks my city. It was night and the lights made Rowland look slightly beautiful. Her and I bought some food and had a picnic on the back of her car underneath the stars because I'm awesome like that, and it was a glorious night. Afterwards, we went to the back seat to have some sex. Nah, I'm kidding. We didn't, to be honest we were just talking, seriously. After about 10 minutes, we see a blinding light flashing through the window. Can you guess who it was? Yep! You got it! The cops pulled us out the car and immediately began questioning us. Apparently, if two kids are in the back seat of a car, and the guy is sweet talking the girl to the point where she begins to tear, then he must be beating her. Because, you know... girls NEVER do anything wrong, laugh out loud. The copper puts me in the back seat of the car and keeps insisting that I struck my girlfriend. I think it was at this point where I couldn't wait for GTAIV to come out. Long story short, the piggies let us go, but one of the cops says to my girlfriend, "Remember, if he lays one hand on you, don't be afraid to PUNCH HIM IN THE NUTS!" Yeah! Punch me in the fucking balls! Yay!
Okay, fourth, and I guess latest incident was when I was pulled over again by a bike cop for speeding. I was speeding because I was going to work on a day when I usually don't work. Bad shit always happens when you're "not even supposed to be here today," I feel ya' Dante. Anyways, speeding ticket, tint citation again, and no proof of insurance. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just unlucky or if I'm subconsciously doing this to myself. Either way, I'm stupid and now broke because as of today, I paid off that ticket which came to a total of about 368 dollars, plus 15 for traffic school, an increased insurance rate and 5 dollars in my checking account.
It's 11:16 in the PM, I'm drinking some 2% milk, I'm 47% angry and 100% broke.
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